I Thought I Lost You - Destiel
by 4EverAgain
Summary: "It's been three years since I last saw him... Until the other day, I could've sworn I saw his trench coat flowing in the wind... Is that you Cas? I thought I lost you!"
1. Proulgue

SUMMARY: "It's been three years since I last saw him... Until the other day, I could've sworn I saw his trench coat flowing in the wind... Is that you Cas? I thought I lost you!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~So, it's been three years since Dean last saw his beloved Castiel. His heart has never hurt so much in his life. Now that he thinks he's seeing Cas again, what will happen to him? Has his love grown? When Cas finally returns, does Cas still love him? Why was he gone for so long? And how has life apart made their life together change?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Misha (Cas), Jensen (Dean), or Jared (Sam). I do not own Supernatural. All rights go to the original owners for their amazing work.

RATING: Can be PG13 at some parts and R at a few others (won't be too graphic). So be cautious.

MOOD: Sad, Happy, Love, Lost, Feels

MUSIC: Really, just any song you can think of. But right now, I'd say: "Fall For You" By Secondhand Serenade or "Why" by the same band.

MY THOUGHT: I enjoyed making this FanFic, I really got emotional with some of it, I absolutely love it. I really hope you do too. I would like to think my friends on Instagram who won my little contest I gave, 4 friends (Chelsie, Sanni, Christina, and Jacqueline), who proof read everything and helped me build this Fic. :)

Enjoy. (:

Prologue

Waking up this morning I would have told you that all I wanted was some pie, Baby, and Booz. Now? Not so much. All I want is Cas. Castiel, the angel who griped me tight and raised me from perdition. It's been almost 3 years now since I last saw him. I mean, I see him in my dreams and in fast flashes, but in true form, no. I just want to hold him one more time. I want to tell him I'll alway be here for him. Sometimes I feel like he's here, he just isn't showing himself. It's been three years, and there is no sign of him. Three years. What am I supposed to do? I pray to him every night. Every morning. Every hour. I just want him home...

At the gas station I stopped to fill up Baby and when I turned around, I could have sworn to you that it was him. I saw him for almost exactly one minute. I almost overfilled the tank so I looked down to make sure I hadn't, and when I looked back up: nothing. He was gone. I sighed and walked in to pay. Got a slice of pie, large coke, and bag of sour cream and onion chips. If Sam was here, he'd tell me to out at least the chips up, and get a banana. But no, he is off hunting a windego in Texas. I stayed behind because this was the last place I saw Cas. This is our place. This is a small town in Vermont, a place that I refuse to learn the name of. The place I looked into his big blue eyes and just melted away. I knew then that everything that has ever happened, everything that will happen, will be because I met him. And because I met him, no matter the hardships, I know it'll be OK. Sam wasn't happy with me staying, but he saw that I had to. Sam left 6 months ago. We keep in touch. He tells me what's going on in life and how his hunts are going. But if he does need major help, I will go. But for now, I am staying here. In hopes Cas will return.

Driving back to my apartment I took a quick glance out my left window, I saw a dog run out of the woods and into the road. I almost hit him. But I stopped before I came even close to the dog. Because I saw something else. Cas. I got out as fast as I could and I took off running. The dog had went back into the woods and I followed it. It seemed to be connected to him. "CAS!" I yelled. I just knew it was him. The dog had reached a stop and I about fell right on top of him. There was nothing in sight. Just a wild dog chase. Nothing. I felt my heart fall to pieces then. It just broke to a million and one tiny pieces. "Why?" I whisper. Why is it that I can't find him? Why do I keep seeing the one I love, yet when I try to go to him, he's no where in sight? Why does this happen to me? "WHY?!" I fall to the ground crying. I feel every tear drop fall. I feel the cold wetness on my face. I stay like this for an hour. The dog never once left. "I hate dogs." I choke out of my throat. "But why do you stay?" I say to the dog this time. I'm still on the ground, now on my knees. Covered in dry dirt, the dog comes up and licks my face. "Hey!" I yell as I push the dog back. He doesn't budge. This golden, dirt covered, retriever thinks he has it over me. He thinks he can give me that look and- he's got blue eyes. Almost as blue as Cas' eyes. I feel a tear fall once again. "Cas? Buddy? Did you send him?" I pet the dog and know that I was meant to have this mangy mutt. I stood up and look at the sky. It's gotta be almost 5 P.M. I realized I have missed my Pray-To-Cas moment. So I tilted my head back for a fast shot of the entire sky view. I hear a crow and the dog sits at my feet. "Cas? If you can hear my prayer know I'm sorry it's late. I wish you were here. I hate... I hate being apart. I know I know. Suck it up. Be a man. But damn it Cas! I need you! I don't know what to do! Did you send this dog? Cas! Please. Come home. Buddy. I... I love you."


	2. Chapter One

I ended up taking that dog home. I still don't like dogs but I feel he is connected to Cas. And right now, I'll take anything. Even a fleabag. But I gotta say, I do kind of enjoy this dog's company. Even though he needs a bath. Bad. This should be interesting. But will I be able to take care of this dog the way I am? I mean, just the blueness of his eyes, will I be able to look at this dog in the face long enough to cleans him without bursting in tears at the thought of Cas? All I can do it's try...

Twenty minutes later the dog is covered in soup bubbles and I'm started to laugh. The first time in a while. It feels good. I've decided I'll name the dog Rex. I don't know why, it's just he seems like a Rex u guess. While I am rinsing Rex off, he takes a long leap out of the tub and runs out of the bathroom and I knew exactly where he was heading. My bed. "Reeeeexxx! Now! Don't even think about it!" Too let. He's rolling all over my sheets. Great. "Sonofabitch! Rex why- No! I'm turning into one of those weird dog talking people! Gah! Cas!" Cas. I felt all the laughter slip away. I miss him. So much. I don't even care that Rex has dog infested my bed. I crawl on it and hug the wet dog. "I'm sorry." I don't understand why I am being like this. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

I woke with a silent tear on my Cheek, I don't remember what I could've been dreaming of but I had a strong feeling it was Cas. I always dream of him. Dammit Cas. Where are you? "Why won't you speak to me? Why won't you come back? Why won't you give me a reason for your departure? I need you buddy. I need you home. Cas? If you can hear me, I love you. And I hope that whatever you're doing, wherever you are, I hope you have a good reason. But please Cas I need you." My morning prayer seemed weak but I new it got the message though, if he even heard me– is he even listening? I suddenly remembered the dog. Rex. I new he would need some food and so would I. I roll out of bed and find myself standing in the presence of the dog. He runs to the door and I'm like, "You got to be kidding me? This early? I don't have a -" I scan the room and find a long rope, "This'll work." I tie the rope around his neck and take him outside. I'm still in my clothes from yesterday, I don't care. He leads me down the walk of the complex, and stops at spot and stares at me. "What? Oh. Ok. Fine. I'll give you your privacy. Just know the factor better be retuned." I turn around and start to scale the outlook. To my far right I see a long road, the highway. The one I took yesterday when I found Rex... Where I saw Him. To my left there is a dead end of trees and brush. It's full looking and I can't help but get a feeling to march over there and just trow myself into the embrace of the twigs. Not literally, but it's just that feel that something important is there Please don't be a Job. I can't do this now. I'm not ready— What was that? I saw something move. It was moving in the wind. "Did you see that?" I asked the dog like an idiot. But he pulled me back inside. So I shook it off as nothing. Just nothing. Once inside I fixed a BLT and gave Rex some bacon as well. He enjoyed it. But I knew if be buying dog food soon. I picked up my plate and when I turned around to face the sink, I looked straight up at the window. There I saw a flash if Cas. I stood there. Frozen. Broken. Where is he? Three years and I'm still seeing him. I have no clue where he is. Why won't he come back? "Cas." I say in a low tone below my breath. Rex barked and I was brought out of my trance. "Oh. Yeah." I shook my head and placed the plate into the sink.

A couple hours later I realized I needed to go buy some dog food. As I was driving home from the store, Rex in the passenger seat of the Impala. -Yeah, it used to be a rule: no dogs in the car. Now, not so much.- He is staring out the window an starts to bark. I think he may see something, so I pull Baby over and open my door. Rex jumps out of the Impala, and I realize where we are. We're at the place I found Rex. He takes off running back into the woods. Out if instinct I follow the dog, again, into the woods. We run to the same spot as last time , just a little farther to the edge of the lake. I can see the water flowing and the wind is blowing ferociously. Rex is sitting on the round facing the lake and seems like he's staring to the other side. I follow his gaze and notice some. It's a light brown colour. It's flowing in the wind, out from behind a tree. And I would know that colour brown from anywhere. Because it wasn't just any brown, it was the brown of trench coat. A very, very, very lovely trench coat. I felt my heart almost stop beating. It was Cas. It was truly him. I almost can't keep myself from diving into the lake and swimming to him. That's when I hear my own voice, "CAS!" I yell out to him, "You're home!" I feel a smile spread on my face, a huge smile. It's him. It's Cas. Love has finally returned! That when I black out. That last thought. Total darkness.


End file.
